"I don't hate her. I just won't be sad when she dies."

I love that saying for some reason. I think it just encapsulates how I feel about certain people... I can't help myself. I don't wish these people any harm... I just wouldn't feel sad if they weren't around anymore. And I don't think I really care if that makes me sound mean. It is what it is.

Another quote that cracks me up is "The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them." I think it really boils down to feeling any emotion so strongly, leads to being able to feel other emotions just as much. Not that you would EVER act out on that... That's actually what the song (from the musical, Avenue Q) continues to say... haha I love it.

On a completely different note, I was totally aggravated today when I got home tonight. There was this stupid Astro Van parked in front of my house blocking my driveway. I had to pull in at a really messed up angle and re-adjust several times. If J were already home, I would never have been able to get in the driveway. So I called the sheriff's department. I hope they get ticketed and learn their lesson. I don't recognize the van. Other times it has been neighbor cars... And those I will usually try to ignore, but they don't usually block it THIS much. There's something going on at the high school near my house, so it's probably one of the rude parents that seem to have the idea in their head that they can park anywhere they want. I've had parents curse at me before when I try to help them by pointing out a not-so-easy-to-see fire hydrant that they just parked in front of because, "there's not anywhere else to f-ing park, so F you." It's ridiculous how rude people can be. I can't stand it.

I lost.

I have to admit. I just finished "Marley and Me" and cried like a baby. SUCH a good book. I really should have gone to bed hours ago when J left for work (late night system clean-up... sucks, but it has to be done...) but I absolutely could not put the book down. SO glad that I read it. It was really well written and just such a great story. If you haven't read it, I could not recommend it more.

So now it's off to bed... I'm sure I'll be woken up in a few hours by J finally getting to crawl into bed. It's going to be a busy weekend... Tomorrow we have to get the cats their shots so that they are ready for boarding at the Petsmart Petshotel while we have the house tented.

For now... Good night.

Family Guy

I am watching an old episode of Family Guy and am still giggling about the line "The safety word is banana." HAHA I love Peter and Lois talking about how they can't believe that their safe little town could have a drug problem emerging as they are getting ready for bed. They both pull on leather outfits and immediately after that, she smacks Peter. Love it.

An update on the "Marley and Me" crying front... I almost cried at the part where the wife found out that the baby she was carrying didn't develop and it had to be aborted. She holds it together up until they get home and she buries her face in the dog's neck and starts sobbing. That almost got me. But it didn't really have anything to do with the dog. It more just ties into my uncontrollable desire to have a baby.

On that topic - we were supposed to start trying as of our anniversary. Last year. There are several things that are in the way - all of which relate to my father-in-law and money issues pertaining to him. We were so close to finally moving forward... It's just so frustrating. I have known pretty much all my life that I wanted to have children. And I have known since shortly into my relationship with J that I wanted to have them with him. Now our anniversary is coming up again (4 years married) next month and it is a little depressing. If we had started trying last year and were lucky conceiving, we would already have a baby. I was so hopeful a few months ago that we had a "surprise" on our hands... I was three weeks late. Unfortunately the three negative home tests and the negative blood test proved true when Aunt Flo reared her ugly head... Oh well. I know that it will happen... I just always thought it would have happened by now... But there's not much more I can do to force my husband to hurry with taking care of the stuff with his father.

I just have to be patient. Unfortunately that was not a virtue that I was blessed with.

Friday and Payday

Two great words. Love it.

It was a long week... AND I didn't get to have my normal jeans day today because the CEO was coming down for a meeting. But it's okay because it's Friday, Payday, and we get to wear jeans on Monday to make up for it...

I am supposed to get to see my sister-in-law (or sister from another mister, as I like to call her...) because she is in the area visiting her mom with the kiddos while they are on Spring Break. She called and said that her sister wants to go up to Sunset, but I don't think I'm up for it. I am more up for something mellow... Like sitting in a hot tub and relaxing or just having a nice chill dinner somewhere... After this week, that's more my speed. Well... I'm not kidding anyone - not even myself... It's more my speed anytime... I'm just not really the "go out on the town" type of girl... I'm too laid back... Too "go with the flow." We'll see what they decide. :-)

I started reading "Marley and Me" today. No tears yet. The woman in my office said that she was already crying just with the intro, but I'm fine so far. Maybe it's because I've never had a pet long enough to see it through its entire life-span except for some goldfish... Or maybe I'm just dead inside... hahaha Not really. I don't know. So far it's just not the type of thing that I tend to get emotional about. I will fully admit that I couldn't stop crying while reading "P.S. I Love You." That sort of thing gets me a lot easier because I can picture how horrible it would be to lose my husband... I think I can make it through this book dry-eyed. We'll see.

Now that I'm thinking about losing a pet, it's reminding me that I really need to go buy more food for my cats.....

Headache

I HATE headaches. Really hate them. I have had one all day. It's a little better after taking something, but it still sucks. And I have a cough that is starting up. I really truly hate people that come into work sick. They come in, cough all over everything, and then brag about how much sick time they have... Douchebags. They get me sick every time. And when I get sick, I don't just get a cold... I'm lucky... Because of my asthma, I get bronchitis. Fun. There's not much I can do about it other than stay home and actually USE my sick time...

It hasn't gotten to that point yet, thankfully. Hopefully I'll be able to get a decent amount of sleep this weekend and stay ahead of it...

"Guy In A Van"

I have realized that, even with the few entries I have made so far in this blog, you can already see how my very odd thought process works… Or doesn’t… I guess it depends on how you look at it. I have a very short attention span and tend to jump from topic to topic randomly.

It’s okay though… I am used to it. It sometimes drives other people crazy, but what do I care? They aren’t living in my scattered brain constantly… They just have to visit when they are subjected to my ramblings and topic changes.

I kind of attribute a portion of it to the possible concussion I got several years back. I’m not saying that I wasn’t always like this… It just seems to have gotten worse since then. At least I’m not as slow as I was right after it happened. That would suck. But I am still stuck with a really odd inability to remember how streets that I have driven on for YEARS connect to each other. I will have to ask directions to places that I have been a million times. It’s really frustrating. And of course, I am stuck with a worse version of my lifelong random topic-hopping and tangents.

A small way that my randomness has always shown is my tendency to give really odd answers when people ask me things. Like the other day, I was at a store with my friends and I found a Tootsie Pop or Blow Pop or something that I had in my purse and was eating it. Someone eventually noticed and asked me where I got it. My response was the title of this post – “Guy in a van.” Or when I dyed my hair a new color and someone asked me, “What did you do to your hair?” My response was, “Got a perm.” Sometimes if I can’t think of anything funny fast enough when someone (standing in front of me) asks me what I am doing, I will steal a line from a TV show that I watched years ago and shoot, “Answering obvious questions.”

So if you read this, and are confused by the flow… Just sit back and go along for the ride.


Oh. And in case you were curious, the possible concussion was from something very stupid and clumsy (who, me?) that I did. I was taking a walk with J through the canyon where I used to live and decided it would be funny to climb part of the mountain. I got a foot or so off the ground when a piece of a rock (a BIG piece) broke off in my hand and hit me in the head. It also hit J’s arm, but where he was cursing in pain, I just dropped down from where I was without a sound and turned toward J. I was holding my head and – as I said, “I think I’m bleeding.” and pulled my hand away – blood started pouring down my face. Man, head wounds BLEED! Obviously, the walk was over. The whole way back I kept giggling about how the wind felt on my head and how the blood on my hand looked like paint. Yeah… Not good. It stopped bleeding pretty quickly, so I didn’t think anything of it and didn’t go to the doctor. But then I ended up having some pretty serious brain misfires and general space cadet-ness for a little while, so I’m pretty sure I had a concussion. Probably should have gone to the doctor. Oh well… What’s done is done, right?

Happy St. Patty's Day!

I made sure to wear my green today. :-) I wore my favorite green patent leather high heels. I love those shoes. Plus, I had on my green bra, carried my green cell phone, and played up my green eyes... haha I was covered.

I'm reading this book right now that is continually cracking me up. It's called "Where Do Nudists Keep Their Hankies?" It's a great book. I'm on the chapter "Do Orthodox Jews Really Have to Have Sex Through a Hole in a Sheet?" This book contains one of my favorite chapter titles ever... "Do Gays Talk Like Gays Because They Are Gay, or Do They Become Gay Because They Talk Like Gays?" Hahaha Awesome. Love it.

A friend at work just loaned me the book that I gave her for Christmas, so I will have to read that next. It's "Marley and Me." She said that she had a really hard time getting through it because she was continually sobbing uncontrollably. That's right. I give the most amazing gifts ever. My gifts make people sob uncontrollably... haha She's a little more sensitive about dogs than I am, so we'll see how I fare... I cry easier than I used to, but I still think I'll be okay.

I love reading. Most days there are few things I would like better than to just curl up in my jammies with a good book... I love to read and re-read and re-read. There are certain books that I love so much I could re-read them once a month and not be sick of them.

Lately I have been a little obsessed with Post Secret. If you haven't ever read the books or seen the site, you should definitely check it out. People send in anonymous post cards with a secret that they have never told anyone on it. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. It is sort of a guilty pleasure... It's like a little sample of the most intimate part of someone else's life. The voyeur in me loves it. I can't get enough...

I also really love failblog.org and passiveaggressivenotes.com. I check them almost daily. You should really check them out too...

Busy

My friend and her husband recently bought a house (their first). Totally cute place. We have been helping them remodel it. Our husbands did a huge amount of work totally demoing the kitchen and rebuilding it. I helped with a little painting and ripping out the nasty old carpet. It mostly entailed pulling out all the staples that were holding the nasty carpet down to the awesome hardwood floors that were hidden underneath. They ended up having to have the wood floors sanded and refinished to fix the years of high traffic that ground from the carpet down onto the floor. It is now a gorgeous, warm color. The only really big thing left is to get the counters ordered and put them in. After that, they can install the sink and the house will be done - minus the minor other cosmetic things that they want to do. It's such a cute place and I am so happy for them to be able to finally buy the house they have been looking for for quite a while. And I already know where I am going to be spending my summer... In their pool! :-) It's been a long, hard process, but working with them was more than worth it. And I couldn't imagine not being there to help them...

This weekend we also went out to a movie with our other friends that we hadn't seen for a while. E was busy for a long time studying for the bar and FINALLY passed! We were so happy for him because we knew that it was very stressful. R was sick for a long time and we were really worried about her, but her most recent surgery seems to really be helping her and we are really hopeful that this will help her to feel better FINALLY. We went to her salon first so that J could FINALLY (haha) get his hair cut. His Jewfro was getting quite impressive... After that, we went up to Bella Terra in Huntington Beach to see Coraline. E had done a bunch of research and found out that apparently that was one of the best places to see it because they have better 3D technology. It was a cute movie and the 3D made it really fun... Until there was a power surge and the video went black. We ended up only being able to hear what was essentially the climax of the movie... Total bummer. The video eventually came back on, but we had missed too much of the movie to make it worth sticking around. So we went out and got our money back... Oh well. It was still a fun movie... Not really for children, in case you are wondering. I'll have to buy it when it comes out on DVD so that I can find out what happened.

That's pretty much been the standard for the past month of our lives... haha Hard work, but worth it. With enough fun thrown in to stay relaxed.

Starting off...

How to begin? I just bought myself a really cute bronze laptop. I decided that, as a grown-up, I could finally start buying myself the things I have always wanted.

I had originally wanted this super-adorable red one. It was gorgeous and tiny. My darling husband was aggravating ;-) enough to point out to me that I would not be able to do all the things that I wanted to do if I got that one... It didn't have enough memory... It didn't have a big enough hard drive... It cost as much as a laptop that DID have all those things just because it was super-adorable and red. So I listened to him. He did have a point... I want to be able to do photo-editing and the little laptop wouldn't have been able to keep up with what I want to do... He is my voice of reason when my little impulse-buying alarms start going off. It was ridiculously cute though... check it out:

I loved almost everything about it - the pretty shade of red, the pretty Asian-style flowers... Right down to the absolutely enchanting color-matched red keyboard. But I would have had to have an external... EVERYTHING.

So I got a different one. And it's great.

But with it, I decided that it will now give me an easier way to start a blog. All my life I have tried and failed to keep journals/diaries/blogs/etc... I start off strong, but then quickly abandon them. I have so many little notebooks strewn around that are not even half full. It's kinda sad. Especially after reading on "stuffwhitepeoplelike.com" that one of the more recent was notebooks. They specified "moleskine notebooks," but I still feel sufficiently lame. So here I am. Trying once again to start something with full intention of continuing with it.

I guess only time will tell.