Do you ever go through phases where you are just completely unmotivated? Where you just don’t feel like playing? I am dead center in the middle of one of those right now. I used to move a lot growing up and got so used to it that now every couple of years I get really itchy. I was thinking the other day about how I’ve been in Southern California for 15 years now. That’s more than half of my life and weirder to me than I even know how to express. It feels surreal... Like it’s not true... Like any minute now someone is going to come pull the rug out from under me and I’m going to have to start over again - new home, new friends... Where you don’t even know where the grocery store is or how long it takes to get anywhere... It’s just an “itchy” phase... I know it is - I really do go through this fairly often. I know that I’m not going to be moving any time soon... Most likely never, which is really fine with me... My husband and I both have really good jobs that we are happy at and we are happy in our little house (even though we both wish we could expand it back into the yard a bit - we have a large yard, which is rare for Southern California.) Plus, my husband is a California boy - born and raised - so the odds of getting him to leave here are pretty much in the negative region... Haha!
It just seems like everything irritates me when I’m going through these phases... My cats meowing bug the crap out of me, people at work who I can normally TRY REALLY HARD to tune out just slice right through and make me want to stab myself in the brain with a letter opener... If I wake up early, I get mad... People on the road or in stores piss me off - especially the really rude ones... I feel like I’m always running late. The fact that it's 90 degrees out and it's OCTOBER makes me angry because I hate being hot and summer is SUPPOSED to be over! Ugh. I need to snap myself out of it. I was thinking maybe I just need a change - like dying my hair or something... But it took forever to grow my hair out to its natural color for the first time since I was 16 and the sun has finally lightened it up a bit so all of my natural highlights are coming back out... I don’t want to cut my hair because I’m still a little scarred from cutting it all to donate it last year...
This was the hair I had cut off to donate to Locks of Love. It was 15 inches. I had to lay it out to dry.... So pretty... Even like this... (I love my hair.)
This was it braided - ready to send in... It was hard to do... There was a part of me that really wanted to go have it made into extensions and put it back on my head... But I knew that someone out there needed it more than I did... I still have the card that they sent thanking me on my desk at work...
That was a LOT of hair to lose all at once... haha It was hard to deal with... I didn't even trim it for just over a year after...
I don't know... I am sure that this phase will pass - just like it has every other time... Maybe I just need to get some sleep... Or to lounge on my couch with my husband and clean out our dvr... Or maybe just venting it all out on here will help...
I'll let you know.
I feel that way a lot, too. Go figure, we grew up in the same house. Sometimes laying low -- pj's in front of tv -- helps, sometimes finding a project helps. Lots of times a trip to Trader Joe's for some Joe-Joes and carnitas (not to be eaten together . . . ) helps. Sorry your having a rough week. That sucks.
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