Things I Am Thinking About RIGHT Now...

- J got stuck working late...  At least he has been on the way home for a while, so hopefully he'll get home soon...  After last weekend (super UGH) I am desperately fiending for some time with my BFF and the doggies.  I need her hot tub... And a healthy dose of laughing with her...

- It was LONG week at work...

- After reading Lilu's bio for the MTV TJ contest, I now have a Fergie song stuck in my head... G L A M O R O U S!

- Pomegranate Rock Star is pretty much the only energy drink worth drinking... Delish.

- Super Mario Galaxy 2 is just as addictive as the first one...

- I've been totally slacking on working out... I had gained a few pounds back, but I am happy to report that as of this morning, I am back where I was.  Now to get back in line.

- I don't understand why people in my office seem to think that their managers being out of the office means they can be as loud and as obnoxious as they please.... My ears and brain are still hurting....

- Tomorrow is my niece, Ruby's birthday party and J and I have not yet discussed if we are even going to go to it... I'm a total home-body (especially after last weekend... haha say it with me.... "UGH") and they live up near LA, so that alone makes me not want to go...

- Whenever we do go up there, I have to talk J into driving because I am a hopeless parallel parker and that's the only way to park on their crazy steep hill of a street....

- I just want to spend the weekend sleeping in and lounging in my friend's pool and hot tub...

- My phone is dying...  The screen keeps doing weird things.... Maybe this will force J to make a decision about what phones we are getting next faster...  It's pretty much down to iphone or the Incredible....

- Incredible is a GREAT name for a phone... I mean, how could it be bad? Right?

- I desperately need unlimited texts (which we will have once we get our smart phones) because near the end of the month I always have to tell all my friends to PLEASE stop texting me...

- My BFF e-mailed me after the last "no more texts" comment saying, "How am I supposed to not text you when I haven't seen you in two weeks?!" haha

- My cats are totally LAZY.  They are both sprawled out on different portions of the back of the couch right now... No snuggling for them because I forgot to turn the ac down to normal "inhabited" temperature (we like it to be cool in here...) and it was a little warm for them...  Not because it was actually warm - it was 76.  But it's normally 72 when we're home.... (70 when we are sleeping.... I absolutely cannot sleep if I am too warm.)

- I can't stop getting up and checking to see if J has pulled up yet... It's kind of a compulsion....

That's all for now... Time to go peek through the blinds again..... Have a good weekend!

Murphy's Law Kicked Our Butts

You know how people talk about Murphy's Law and how anything that can go wrong, will??  Well, we experienced that in a HUGE way this weekend.

Friday night was fine - after work we had to go to a rehearsal dinner for our friends' wedding.  J was a groomsman, so we obviously has to be there... That went fine, but we ended up staying up too late.... Saturday we had to get up early because we had stupidly offered to make their cake for them.  We made our own cake back when we got married and thought we would have no problem... Famous last words, "How hard could it be?"

Everything went wrong - it took far longer to cook the cakes than we planned.  Then the large bottom layers were too fragile to work with, so we had to put them in the freezer in order to get them to harden so that we could handle them...  Then the filling wasn't getting thick enough, so we had to keep putting everything in the fridge for 20 minutes at a time in order to get it to try to harden...

Then the buttercream WOULD NOT work.  It kept separating and looking like it was curdled.  Definitely not usable.  Finally after 10 pm (12 hours after we started) we decided we would have to make what we call "ghetto" buttercream instead of the real thing.  Off to the store for Crisco.  Yeah.... We were fresh out of "give a crap" at that point.

So we got the bottom layer iced and then realized that the middle cakes were not strong enough to move either! So back to the freezer..... UGH.  THEN the filling kept oozing out of the middle layers no matter how often we had it all in the fridge, so we cemented it in using the "buttercream" and got it together...

The cake was getting too heavy to move back and forth any more, so we slapped the top layer together and took it out and put it on top... More oozing filling and "buttercream" spackle....

It was 3 am when we were done and could leave our friend's parent's house and go home to sleep.  The cake looked like a good candidate for Cakewrecks, but we just couldn't care anymore...

 Pathetic.

We got up at 11 to be at the wedding at 2 for J to be there for pictures.... Got home and in bed by 10.  Got about 8 hours of sleep, realized that that was not going to be enough to be able to make it through work, called in sick and crawled back under the covers for another 8 hours.  Obviously we needed it....

Luckily the cake tasted really good (dark chocolate cake with peanut butter mascarpone cream filling and vanilla "buttercream" icing) and it's all over now....

It's time for bed again......

Can I Just Have The Real One, Then?

Ok - so I have a "dream car" that I would buy for myself if I ever came into a ridiculous amount of money...  It's a Bugatti Veyron.  It's insanely fast and very expensive, but I just love it.  I can't help myself.

Whenever there is an article mentioning it (which isn't often - thank you Top Gear for posting this on Facebook...) I have to read it...  Today there was an article talking about how they are making three - only three - 1:18 scale models of my beloved Veyron.  Made completely out of 24 karat gold and 7.2 carats worth of diamonds.  I want.  Look how beautiful....

Image from here.

The unfortunate thing about this beautiful little model that would look so lovely in my home is that it costs MORE than the ACTUAL CAR!

How is that possible???

So can I just have the real one then?

I'd like it in either Red/Black, Light Blue/Grey Blue, or Green/Ebony with the Anthracite/Silk interior...


Please?

Pretty please? :-)

One of Our Favorite Games

So the husband and I have this really odd game that we like to play when we are out in public... It is either done while walking past people going the other way or immediately upon opening your car door when someone is nearby... All you have to do is say the end of a "sentence" that makes no sense... It takes time to perfect... You don’t want to be too obvious about it – as in, don’t shout it... Just say it like it’s flowing with the conversation.... And we’re going for shock value most of the time here, people. No explanation, NO LAUGHING, and keep it simple. You have to say it very matter-of-fact-like and sometimes it is best to leave it to their imagination. (Rolled eyes or shrugged shoulder for emphasis are always encouraged...)


And try to pretend you don't see the look on the stranger's face...

Examples include:
...and that's how I got addicted to crack...
...but I only got money for sex that ONE time!
...and they chose to raise me as a boy/girl...
...but prison isn’t really as bad as they make it seem.
...I don’t care if it itches, I’m not scratching it for you!
...and he never said why the sheep was in there...
...that’s why you shouldn’t play with matches!
...you wouldn’t think it, but the baking soda in the fridge tastes really good...
...moral of that story? Never date someone that says they are “good buddies” with Satan.
...and that’s why I’m not allowed at (insert any place you want) anymore...
...so you should really go the doctor and get checked...
...of those two, I guess I’d rather have the donkey punch...
...it’s not gross – a dog’s mouth is cleaner than a human’s...
...it was by far the weirdest game of leap frog I ever saw...

J and I play this game randomly... We never know when the other one is gonna bust it out, but it's always awesome... And the no laughing rule is really more for the person that didn’t say it... It’s rough though because you never know what to expect or when it’s gonna happen...

And now I’m giggling and trying to think of a new one to use on J tonight when we go out to dinner.... :-)

Things I Am Thinking About RIGHT Now...

- I can’t believe that last night was the season finale of Glee... I’m so bummed... I love that show and will miss it while it’s gone. :-(


- I pinched the crap out of my hand like a moron while closing my compact... Now I have a little red welt on my hand. As my friend said – I’m a dork.

- I have another incentive at work that I have to sort through paperwork constantly to track all of the points that are awarded... Fun. Memories.....

- My best friend and her husband got me Super Mario Galaxy 2  for my birthday... I still haven’t had a chance to play it... I need to remember to put my Wiimotes on the charger so that I can play it... I think if I put several of them on and then go change, one will be charged enough to play a little bit, and then the next one will be charged more... And so on and so forth. :-) Haha

- Someone brought in this awesomely delicious, super-moist chocolate cakey thing and I am trying to pretend it doesn’t exist so that I won’t run over and inhale the rest of it.

- J will FINALLY be getting vacation time starting in the middle of August... Too bad that makes it too late for the things going on this summer... Oh well. It’s the price we pay for him being in a job with more room for promotions...

- My desk at work looks like a bomb went off on it. It just took me several minutes to find my beloved red post-its...

- For some reason several people in my office have just recently noticed my engagement ring (and wedding ring, I would assume...). My response when one of them asked me if I’d always had it – “For the last 6 years!” And then they proceeded to tell me that I was full of crap when I said it was just a carat. It is. I was there; I looked at it through the loupe and the microscope... Unless my husband is really sneaky and got it off my hand a swapped in the middle of the night AND I lost all ability to recognize the size of something, it’s the same one that we picked out... I’m just sayin’.

- I always lock my precious red Swingline stapler in my drawer before I leave for the day... Don’t want anybody takin’ it... We all know what happens when you take someone’s red Swingline stapler...

- I got "subliminally messaged" into buying candy for my candy jar at work.  Every time he was in, one of my friends in the office would make a comment about needing chocolate.  So I ended up going out and buying a bag of mini Snickers, Milky Way, 3 Musketeers, Twix, and Milky Way Midnight.  The Milky Way Midnights do not go in the candy jar - they go in my hidden stash for when I desperately need a piece of chocolate. :-)

- Last night we were watching Hell's Kitchen (love it) and there was this unattractive older lady that was making seriously inappropriate comments and all I could say was, "I really truly do not need the thought of anything involving her vagina in my head!" Gross.

- I am loving the website http://www.mthruf.com/ - it's all work-related funnies and it cracks me up.

- I really am DYING for J to decide what company we are going with for our new cell phones! I just want to know - am I getting an i-Phone?  A Droid Eris? An Incredible?  Which ONE?!?!  (He handles cell phone nonsense... I just go along for the ride...)

- I just started reading Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler because so many people have told me that it is hysterical.  And I gotta say, with just the lying about being in a movie and babysitting stories behind me... They are correct.

That's all for now :-)

Workplace Brain Pain... or... The One Where-in I Would Like To Smack My Head On My Desk Repeatedly

I am constantly at a loss for words whenever people make things so much more difficult than they need to be. There has always been a situation at work regarding our receptionist desk... There is a list of people that are the ones that have a schedule for their turn to cover the receptionist’s morning/afternoon breaks and her lunch. These same people are supposed to be the ones to volunteer to cover the board when the receptionist is out sick or on vacation... The volunteering never seems to happen... There are only certain people that step up and it gets really aggravating. Especially this year when the manager that creates the schedule decided that she was gonna “stick it” to the people that don’t volunteer and just load them up for scheduled breaks instead. At least that’s how it was explained to me – how it was explained to everyone else was that they would be doing more turns than her group because they would be the first ones to cover when the receptionist is out and that would make it all even out. Well, this just pissed everyone off... Understandably so... Especially because she was WAY OFF on some of the list or people that volunteer vs. the list that doesn’t. I tried at one point to explain to her which people she had missed the mark on and she just told me I must be wrong and went ahead with it.


Well, what this little game did was make it so no one was willing to volunteer at all anymore because her group was never the first ones to cover – if they covered at all. And there was lots of stress for the receptionist and lots of stress for those of us that were still willing to volunteer... So I opened a gigantic can of worms by writing my boss a long e-mail about how messed up it all was and the problems that were coming up because of it. He brought one of the other top managers into it along with the manager that created the schedule... And several strongly worded e-mails followed...

What ended up happening was the manager that created the schedule had to create a revised schedule to make it balanced and fair for the rest of the year. They were also required to let everyone know that there would be no more “volunteering.” The names of the group that provide coverage are listed out and if your name is next, it is your turn. Well, I created a quick and easy (or so I thought... stupid me, thinking people are logical) check sheet to keep track of who had already had a turn providing coverage outside of the normal schedule to make sure everyone took their turn.

Here is what it looked like... (Obviously the real one had all the names... We haven’t gone so far as to simply be referred to as Person 1, etc. Yet...)

Pretty simple, right? When someone has a turn providing coverage, you put a check mark next to their name – or a date, a gold star, a smiley face... I don’t give a crap what – and when that column is all filled in, it’s time to move onto the next column and lather, rinse, repeat...

But no. That’s too complicated for this manager. This manager is making the receptionist use it to fill out in advance when she will be on vacation and whose turn it will be... Is this necessary? Am I missing something? Isn’t “If your name is next on the list, it is your turn” pretty stinking self-explanatory?? And what happens if the receptionist has to call in sick between now and whenever her vacation is scheduled? It negates the whole mess that this manager is making her figure out. I could have sworn the point of the new program was to make it as simple and idiot-proof as possible... And to relieve the stress that is always put on the receptionist to find coverage for her days off! But no, that’d be too easy...

Ugh. I just DO NOT get it. Can someone please explain to me why simple things need to be made complicated?!?!?!

I want to go home and lock the door, unplug the phone, turn off the lights, and curl up in my bed and pretend that there are more intelligent life forms on this planet than the dumb ones that I have to deal with.

My brain hurts again.

I Wear No Pants...

I don't know why, but this commercial cracks me up every time..... And the song is stuck in my head... haha Enjoy!