Happy Halloween!!

I decided - if you can't pick one character to go as.... Go as them all.

I give you:

The Avengers

I may have laughed extremely hard for a very long time when I thought of this idea..........

Yeah, It'll Tow Your Boat...

Back on the 12th we got to get out of the house for a much-needed distraction. We got to go up to LA to watch the Toyota Tundra tow the Endeavour shuttle. From the moment that I had heard that this was happening, I knew that I ABSOLUTELY wanted to be there to see it.

Originally the Tundra was going to tow it the last 1/4 mile to the California Science Center, but they ended up moving it up a day to have it tow it across the 405 freeway on Manchester because the usual transporters were too heavy and too big for the bridge.

We got there around 6:30 pm and it was already parked there so that they could switch it from the transporters to the towing rig. We saw it when we drove under the overpass and were severely geeking out about getting to see it up close! I believe I said the words "This is SO cool!" about eleventy-billion times while we were there...

 Ignore my stupid bangs - they were not cooperating.

We got to watch them move the transporters out from underneath - it was so cool how it's all remote controlled. In one of the videos I was talking all about how I wanted a giant remote control space shuttle (transporter).

Those big blue things are the transporters... There was a guy with a big remote control that had to move them all out from underneath it so that it would be on the rig for the Tundra...

It was a whole lot of hurry up and wait, but we were able to get some awesome pictures! We even got to go inside the barriers and walk around it so that we could see the back and get pictures back there.

We had just walked directly beneath that wing... It was so cool to be so close to the shuttle!!

 

 It was really surreal... It was so huge! (that's what she said... ha!)

LOVE this sign.

Finally at 11:30 pm they shut down the freeway in both directions (just in case something went horribly wrong and also to stop people from crashing into each other while watching a shuttle drive across the overpass) and it was showtime.

 The truck looks SOOO tiny hooked up to the shuttle. And I know that's a big truck - I drive one 

(not a Crew Max, but still...)

This is my video that I took just using my cell phone... It's not great, but you can see how the truck had absolutely no problem tugging the shuttle. It was seriously like it was nothing! There was no high revving of the engine... No slipping tires... It looked like he took his foot off the brake and just started going. It was amazing! The video's not great - like I said it was on my cell phone... and J stepped down in front of me so that he could keep recording with the video camera.

 Feel free to ignore my awed mumbling... haha 

And the awed mumbling of the woman standing in front of me...

You can see one of the professional videos here.

It was a long night, but so very worth it... Even if it did mean that we only got about 4 hours of sleep before we had to get up for our early eye doctor appointment Saturday morning... I think one of the cops on site for security detail summed it all up when J made a comment while they were taking pictures of the shuttle about how it must be a pretty good night to be working - he said, "I've drawn shorter straws..." haha

Now the shuttle is up at the Science Center. We plan on going up once the display is open and the craziness has died down. It was a seriously awesome night and one of the coolest things I have ever gotten to see.

Fred

 
We pretty much had the worst night ever last night.

It started with Fred having what we thought was another seizure. He seemed to recover from it faster than the last one at first, but then he started getting worse. It got to where we knew we had to take him in to an emergency vet - he just was not ok.

The emergency vet told us that she assumed it was a blood clot which meant that he had a heart condition. I don't understand how his usual vet could have possibly missed that when he was there SO many times lately.

His heart stopped while we were discussing our options. And ours have been breaking ever since.

My big man. He was the one we called the puppy-cat because he was always there to greet us when we got home and came when he was called. He loved getting all the affection we could give him - we could have kissed the fur off of his little face and he would have been happy. He loved to sleep on my pillow, tangled in my hair - something I always called Freddy-hat. He loved sitting in any cardboard box we brought into the house - even if it was too small for him. He was always happy and loved when we would carry him around the house with us. He would tell us when the food or water bowls were low. His favorite things to beg for were wheat thins, ice cream, and cereal milk - and he would make sure you didn't forget that he was waiting for some. He was sweet and funny and SOOO so loved by everyone that met him.

There is a big hole in my heart. He will be missed more than I could ever possibly put into words.

My Random Thoughts - Gym, New Clothes, FOOD, Rings...

During my little “weight-loss journey” I’ve had going on over here, I pretty much just worked out at home. I have my mountain bike hooked up to a trainer that turns it into a stationary bike and I would ride that when I got home from work. I started at 20 minutes and by the end had worked up to 45. As I have gotten closer and closer to maintenance, I realized more and more that that was not going to be a good long-term thing to do – I get REALLY bored, REALLY quickly. I have a nice set of wireless headphones so that I could watch tv while riding, but still... It made my butt numb and I was BORED.

So as I said before – I re-joined the gym. My company gives a discount to 24-Hour Fitness, so that is where I went... In my past few weeks of gym-ing it up, I have noticed several common occurrences and have made a list of....

Things that make me crazy at the gym:

1. People that drive around for 20 minutes to get a closer parking spot! STOP IT! You are at the gym to work out anyway - start it off by walking an extra 20 feet!!!

2. People that take the elevator to the second floor of the gym! The only two people that I have seen at my gym that should be allowed to use the elevator are a man with cerebral palsy and a man in a walking cast because he tore a tendon or something... No one else should be using it! And when you get off the elevator and head straight for a cardio machine, it makes me want to knock you down!!!

3. Men that GRUNT like possessed demons and look like they are going to get a hernia while lifting weights that are obviously too heavy for them. No one is impressed...

4. People that apparently aren't there to sweat... I've been dripping with sweat, pushing myself as hard as I can on the elliptical while a guy on one side of me has it at incline and resistance of 1 (OUT OF 20!!!) and the guy on the other side is barely moving while talking loudly on his cell phone... I really had to stop myself from reaching over to #1 guy's elliptical and bumping up the incline and resistance. He looked fit enough to be able to handle it.... But I didn't.

5. Men that feel the need to stare at your crotch while you are using the thigh machines.... Dude, I'm fully clothed. There's nothing to see here. What do you think is gonna happen?

6. People using weight machines as chairs. I'm here to actually get in shape and you sitting there talking on your cell phone is seriously getting in my way. If you are between sets, that's one thing, but no lounging!

7. People that don’t wipe down their machines! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EW!!!! Gross. Now, if you’re one of the people I mentioned above that is apparently allergic to sweat, then I guess it’s unnecessary... But if you are sweating?! Clean it up!!

8. The “bro’s” that are all about getting RIPPED. But apparently only their upper body... They have skinny little chicken legs and arms so big I assume they are not able to wipe their own butts properly. Why do they do that?

That’s all I can really think of.... There are other annoyances that don’t really happen a lot – like the woman that was saving the machine next to her for her friend even though it was the only one of that type left and there are a few machines that have had “Out of Service” signs on them the whole time I’ve been going there – but those are just minor...

I’ve been having a lot of fun shopping lately. I finally realized that I don’t really need to be a smaller size than I am now, so I am slowly going to start adding foods to my day in order to stay where I am instead of continuing to lose weight. I haven’t yet.... But I’m going to. (Remember the whole “scared to stop dieting” thing? Yeah... Still with that...) I’ve been adding in a meal here or a meal there that is a “flex” meal on my own... Like this past weekend I made myself a super yummy breakfast sandwich one day... and then had my first turkey sandwich in MONTHS the next day for lunch. It was wonderful.

That is what I have been working for... To learn how to eat what I want – just in a healthier way. I even ate both fast food and a burger from Ruby’s. The fast food was only 2 regular tacos from Del Taco and the burger was the low-carb burger, so my calories were still right in line both those days... The burger was by choice – SO delicious. The fast food was a necessity – we had been out and about all morning, it was well past lunch time, and I was STARVING. And it was actually a good thing because it showed me that the food I’ve been craving actually doesn’t taste as good as I have built it up to taste in my head...

I’ll have to post some pictures of my new clothes... I have been getting so many compliments at work. I just need a few more pieces (really just a couple pairs of work pants and some more work tops) and I will have a pretty solid wardrobe. It’s weird to pull out all of my old clothes to throw them in my “donate” pile and see how much bigger they are than my new stuff...

I took my rings to our jeweler the other day to get them sized. I was starting to get really nervous about potentially losing them. While they are there, she is going to make my second wedding band, retouch all of the engraving and beading on my engagement and wedding ring, and size an emerald/diamond ring I had bought for myself a couple years ago. J is also getting some cuff links made and picking up a couple other pairs of cuff links.

 Fits – just on the wrong hand!! Have to have it sized up for my right hand...

It was REALLY bittersweet... I’m excited to have my rings back (and complete – FINALLY!), but it hurts my heart to not have them on my hand. J could tell that I was getting more and more bummed about my naked hand, so he got me an inexpensive ring to wear while the work is being done.

 It’s pretty.... But it’s WRONG.

I don’t know exactly how long it’s all going to take – she couldn’t even order the castings for my other band and J’s cuff-links until yesterday because of the holiday on Monday... I just know that I will be jumping every time the phone rings for the next month – hoping it’s Pamela telling me my rings are done...

The Thing That Keeps Me Up At Night

**This post is some serious mental garbage – just trying to clear the crap out to relieve the stress... So it’s probably gonna be kinda jumpy and rambling... Hang on and just go for the ride... ha!**

Stressy McStresserson.

That’s me lately.

And for the stupidest reason... I’m getting close to my weight-loss goal and I’m afraid to stop my diet! It seriously gives me major anxiety to know that soon I am going to be responsible for actually paying attention to food and keeping my weight where I want it.

It’s so dumb. Tons and tons of people watch what they eat and maintain a normal weight everyday... It shouldn’t be so daunting. But when you’ve spent too many years overweight and unhappy, you start thinking that you will ALWAYS be overweight.

Then you finally make a decision to actually DO something about it and HOLY CRAP it freaking works! But now what???

One voice in my head is super excited about getting to eat normal food again... But then the other voice in my head that makes me doubt my ability to maintain properly starts screaming FATTY FATTY FAT FAT!!!!

I know I can do this! I have to. I am just so scared of being one of those people that ends up back on the Nutrisystem Boards a year later talking about how they gained it all back and then some....

I have a plan in place in my head to stay on top of things... Once I get to the weight where I decide to stop, I have a very strict “If I gain 5 pounds, it’s time to buckle down” plan in my head. I figure that 5 pounds would be significant enough that it’s not just some sort of daily fluctuation / bloating and actually something that needs to be dealt with. No more willful blindness and unwillingness to admit that there is a problem. Get on it and put a stop to it before 5 pounds becomes 10 becomes 20......

And I also am stopping at a lower weight than I originally planned because I don’t want that 5 pounds to bump me back into “Overweight” BMI range. I am just barely into the normal range and technically I could stop here... But I don’t ever want to be overweight again. I’ve wasted enough time being someone I’m not. People have started telling me that I should stop – that I don’t need to lose any more weight. And while that may be true-ish (I technically am in the healthy weight range for my height/age), I don’t think another 5 – 10 (or maybe 13...) pounds are going to hurt and they will definitely make me breathe easier when I’m trying to figure out maintenance.

I seriously think that I must carry weight well – I don’t think people would guess what my highest weight was – or even the weight I was when I started doing Nutrisystem... And I am beyond happy that I seem to lose it fairly proportionately. I know that I look completely different now – even if my brain doesn’t always want to admit it... I have always hated my legs – my thighs and calves are just too big. I am never comfortable in shorts. And even though I know they are smaller than they were – I can’t help but hope that the remaining weight I lose all comes from there! I am happy with my face, my lack of extra chins is pretty great, and I have a pretty cute shape... “The girls” may have gotten a little small for my liking, but that’s ok, I guess... I would have looked pretty silly if they had stayed as big as they were...

The thing I am most excited about is getting new clothes.... I am SO sick of feeling like a hobo. Almost everything I own is too big. Especially my work clothes... I hate having to belt my pants down to keep them from falling off! Yeah, that’s awesome, but it sure looks dumb. And it makes me feel like I look bigger than I am... The only things I have that really fit are one pair of jeans (that are starting to get a bit too loose once they stretch out after being washed), a handful of t-shirts that I’ve bought myself because I don’t mind if t-shirts end up a tiny bit baggy after the last bit of weight loss, a hoodie/jacket I got because my other one was HUGE, a couple sweatshirts, my workout clothes, and my yoga pants that I wear as jammies... And that’s about it. Everything else ranges from “slightly baggy” to “ridiculous.” I’m literally going to have to start fresh. I’m talking from underwear on out... And I CANNOT WAIT. Three words that make me incredibly happy: ALL NEW CARDIGANS!!!! I love cardigans – they just work with everything!

I am planning on making a day of it at an outlet mall and building me a whole new wardrobe to go with the whole new me...

 See? Shiny new me – new bangs and everything!

And I recently got a gym membership again because I was getting really bored with riding my bike at home and knew that that wasn’t going to be a good long-term routine for maintenance. I need more variety... And I really want to do some weights to be more toned. I want me some “Michele Obama” arms! I’ve gone to the gym right after work every day this week and it’s been great. A lot of wonderful “people watching” to distract me while I’m running my butt off on one of the elliptical machines or pushing myself on the weights... I’m hoping to just build a routine of being healthy to keep this all going...

**Funny side story – my first time back at the gym the girl at the front desk had to check me in and set me up for the self-check-in system... When I handed her my driver’s license, she did a pretty good quadruple-take and shouted “HOLY CRAP!” Yeah... I guess I need to go get a new picture taken... It was a pretty good laugh and a fantastic ego boost...**

So... I really need to just figure out when I want to start phasing out the Nutrisystem foods... Do I wait until I am actually AT my goal or do I start now while I am finishing up?? I could always start right now by trading one meal a day with something on my own and stretching out how long the box of food that I just got lasts... Or I could stay purely on-plan until my next shipment and THEN start switching over while keeping the Nutrisystem as my security blanket in the pantry... Or I could do this box purely on-plan and not get another shipment – just cut it off and use the extra lunches and dinners that I have accumulated as my security blanket...

Or I could just go bury my head under my pillow and pretend I don’t have any decisions to make...

Ugh. And now I’m stressed again.

Randoms.... (Again)

- Finally got my hair cut last weekend. I always go for about a year after donating my hair before I am willing to allow scissors near it again... What?! It is SCARRING to cut off that much hair at one time! Even if it is for a good cause!!

  Shorter bangs. Now if I could just stop touching them and making them look greasy half-way through the day........

- I got some super sparkly Sally Hansen nail polish strippy things because I like sparkly things... I’m kind of like a magpie that way...

 So very festive – it’s like a party on my nails.

- We’ve been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately. I kept hearing about it, so I decided that I wanted to see what it was all about. Now I’m hooked. And I cannot stop laughing whenever the Daleks are on the screen. Seriously – they have plungers and paint rollers (without the brush on it) for weapons and have you seen them fly??? So awkward. We’re about two and a half-ish seasons into it and I am loving it. I just have to say – if the entire crowd doesn’t disappear during the opening ceremonies of the London Olympics, I’m going to be very disappointed.

 See? The most awkward killing machine of all time ever. Photo from here. 

- I have a Dalek shouting "EXTERMINATE" as my text message notification right now and it makes me jump every time! I want to get one shouting "DO NOT BLASPHEME" instead, but haven't found it yet...

- I am super excited that Hell’s Kitchen and Masterchef are back. I can’t help myself – I love watching Gordon Ramsey yell at people. Although I was very frustrated with him the other night when he yelled at the guy for pairing duck and bananas. He need to take a trip to our favorite restaurant in Dana Point, CA to Gemmell's Restaurant and talk to Chef Byron. Duck and bananas go beautifully together!

- The diet continues. Slowly but surely..... Down – hold on... Gotta do some math in my head here... Not exactly my strong suit anymore... – 47.5 pounds. I still have another 20+ pounds or so to go. Maybe more, maybe less... I have a number in my head, but I may aim for lower or I may be happy with higher... We’ll see. All I know is that I am never going back there again.

- The water heater and windows WERE NOT my birthday present! Yay!! J got me a GPS for my quad. I also got the milk bottle measuring cups from Anthropologie that I’d been wanting, a book of Japanese cat fashion, a pen shaped like a cat, fun nail polishes, a cute tote bag, and a butterfly in a jar – among other things. The butterfly is not real – but it flits around in the jar when you touch it and scares the bejeezus out of people in my office when they look at it.

 

No butterflies were harmed in the making of this jar.....

 SO cute! Photo from here.

- Went to see Hunger Games on my birthday. It was pretty good. I was expecting.... I don’t know... Just more, I guess. I don’t know how to describe it. I wasn’t unhappy with it... I guess that’s good enough. We also went to see The Avengers that weekend. It was AWESOME. I was cracking up through most of the movie. If you go see it, stay until after the credits – it may not be a long clip, but it was worth it.

- I got myself gummy vitamins. Because apparently I’m a 5-year-old... I kept wanting them and then remembered that I am an adult that can buy what she wants, so I got them. They are delicious.

- I’m getting kind of bored with riding my bike each night... I kinda sorta maybe want to start running, but I don’t want to wake up early and it’s too hot in the evening when I get home from work and I wish I could run on the track at the high school by my house because it’s nice and level and there are creepy bushes on the bike path by my house that I swear a homicidal maniac is gonna pop out of and.... About eleventy billion other excuses. J says he wants to start running too... I keep telling him we can go together... Hasn’t happened yet. We’ll see.

- I got both seasons of The Monkees on DVD. I am so extremely nerdtastically excited about this. I really don’t know what took me so long to buy them!

So.... yeah. That’s about it. I could use a nap (3 – 5 hours of sleep would be a “nap”, right?) and I wish I had more time to read, but otherwise things are good.

Randoms

- I took a week off to clean my house a few weeks ago. I felt like I had been hit by a truck by the end, but it is soooooo worth it. I haven’t seen my house this clean in a long time. We took an entire truck-bed full of stuff to Goodwill. It felt good to de-clutter. The whole time I was cleaning I kept repeating “I will not be a hoarder” over and over and over... And we have kept to the “clean it every other week” that I made him promise to so far!

 What? You mean you don’t wear a tiara while cleaning??  

(Don't look in the kitchen... I hadn't cleaned there yet!)

- I love Method brand cleaners.... And not just because they are at Target. :-) They smell SO good! I really despise the scent of most cleaning products, but these are YUMMY.

- My boy cat had yet another vet appointment this past Saturday to re-re-check his thyroid levels. They are trying to get the dosage right on his medicine... This is starting to get expensive. I heard back from the vet and he is STILL too low... First he was WAY high, now he’s too low... I’ve talked with the vet and they said that all three panels on the first test came back really high. Right now, I think we’re going to try one more dosage of the medicine and if his results come back too low AGAIN – then I’m going to take him off it and see what he comes back at without it.

- I’m obsessed with rose gold right now... There’s a Michael Kors watch that I really want... I just can’t justify the cost. Maybe I’ll request it for Christmas this year... For now, my cheap-o fake rose gold watch from Kohl’s is doing just fine. And gets me lots of compliments.

 Image from HERE

This is the Michael Kors one. Not my cheap-o... So very pretty.

- The diet is going VERY well. I have lost 40.5 pounds since I started!! This has gone better than I ever thought it would. I thought it would take me a year to get to where I am now. Don’t get me wrong – I am DEFINITELY not complaining. It’s awesome. I’m happy that it seems like I finally made it off the plateau I was stuck on! It’s annoying to not see the numbers keep changing. At least they weren’t going back up... It’s just frustrating and my brain starts screaming “EAT ALL THE CUPCAKES!!!!!” when I go too long without seeing the numbers drop....

 This right here? This is why I don’t give in when my brain is screaming..... What a difference a year makes... First pic was from right after I donated my hair last year (well before I started on Nutrisystem) and the second pic was from a couple days ago.

 I’ve lost 162 butter trees.... I have no idea why my grocery store still had these well into March...

- I CANNOT WAIT to buy a new wardrobe. I feel like a hobo in most of my clothes. I was determined to not buy new stuff all the way down because it would be ridiculous. I had to break down and buy some new work pants... I just couldn’t go out in public in the old ones anymore... It was embarrassing. Most of my tops are ok – baggy, but ok... The pants weren’t ok anymore... They were making me look ridiculous. And bigger than I actually am... And I have found that I actually like trying on clothes now. Before it was a necessary evil... Now I want to try on EVERYTHING. In fact, I’m going to go hunting for a cute pair of capris tonight...

- There is this “ice cream” that I use for one of my snacks every once in a while – it’s called Arctic Zero. This stuff is awesome. Only 150(ish) calories in an entire PINT. It’s more like a frozen protein shake than “real” ice cream, but 1/2 a cup definitely hits the spot when I want ice cream. And no guilt!

- I worked out in a hotel gym while away at a work function. In snug work-out capri leggings. And I wasn’t embarrassed to be seen by people – and not just strangers... People from my office! BOOYAH.

- I’m thinking that I might dye my hair red again when I am done... It would be a whole new me. But then I remember how much maintenance red hair requires... And I cringe. A lot.

- J got me to watch The Adventures of Tin Tin the other day. He loved it as a kid and was SUPER excited when it was coming out. I had barely heard of it... It was very funny and entertaining.

- We watched the series finale of House last night. I am seriously sad about this show being over.

- J’s truck came in while I was doing my cleaning week. We got him a Tundra – it was a slippery slope of “First-world Problems.” We got the new camper so that we could have two quads, the Tacoma wasn’t strong enough to pull the camper once we got the second quad. Now we have the bigger truck and J is looking for a bigger camper. The one we got was the biggest one that the Tacoma could tow, but now that we have the Tundra...... Why not have a little more space and comfort?

- Oh... And... The truck is super pretty. And a giant hulking behemoth – that I have named “Gigantor.” I’ll be driving it to work most days because I work a lot closer to home. It’s weird to be in such a big truck. I miss my car... J gets to enjoy all my little comforts! And he doesn’t even LIKE leather seats.... And barely ever uses the seat heaters or coolers! <pout>

 GIGANTOR

- I found these super cute shoes at TJ Maxx the other day when I was trying to find something for a work dinner... I couldn’t resist them. I mean.... Purple suede wedges? ADORABLE.

 It was love at first sight...

- There was an eclipse the other day and I completely forgot.... Until I saw everyone posting pictures and it was already over. Oops.....

- My birthday is on FRIDAY! The best thing about being born at the end of May is that I almost always get a long weekend for my birthday! I have no idea what I want... And J hasn’t asked. This either means that he already has something in mind or he hasn’t thought about it at all.... I guess I’ll find out on Friday!

- I absolutely love the new Scion FR-S. I got to drive one the other day and I think it is definitely swaying it towards being my next car... And the one I drove was exactly the one I would get – it was a manual transmission and it was RED. LOVE.

- J surprised me the other night with a new tankless water heater! I have been bugging him for YEARS to replace our ancient (totally crappy) water heater and he finally did! He was going to wait for me to figure it out, but he just couldn’t handle it... He HAD to tell me. :-) It is the best thing ever. No more worrying about running out of hot water!!

- His second surprise was that we are also FINALLY getting new windows! We have the company coming out to do the office window measurements on Saturday and then it will be about a month before they are ready to be installed. I CANNOT wait. I think I must have scored some SERIOUS wifey points by scrubbing the entire house down!

Wait.... Those two things had better not be my birthday present................... He wouldn’t...... No. No... Definitely not....

- I still haven’t gone to see Hunger Games! I’m thinking of demanding this one day this weekend. I want to see it before it’s gone!

- I had to give up my fuzzy sheets for the summer a couple weeks ago... They are so comfortable, but it was getting WAY too warm for them.

- My office recently got Outlook for the e-mail system – this has caused so much whining... I personally do not understand what the big deal is. It’s just e-mail. And it’s a really easy system to use after you click around in it for a while...

- I have decided that my celebratory meal for when I hit my goal weight will be a carne asada torta from Jalapenos. I seriously dream about that bread. It will be glorious. 

And then I will probably feel like crap because I haven’t eaten anything like that for a long time....